Sheriff Jess Harper was on his way over to the Flaming Star one Saturday to have some lunch and talk a bit with Wichita Billings when he happened to spy Clem Morrison walking down the middle of the street waring nothing but his boots.
"What the...?" Harper dashed across into the saloon long enough to yank a tablecloth off of one of Wichita's tables, then raced back outside and gave it to Clem. "Cover yourself up, you blamed fool," he ordered. "What in tarnation are you doing wandering around like that for in the first place?"
Clem wrapped the tablecloth around himself as he answered. "Well, Sheriff Harper, I was feeding some of the horses out at the ranch a while ago when Mr. Colby's niece - you know Betty Lynn, that sweet young thing who's visiting from out east? - well, she comes out into the yard and starts making eyes at me."
"So I asked her if there was anything that she wanted, and she said. 'Yeah, let's you and me go inside the barn and cuddle awhile.' So I let her take me into the barn and we started cuddlin' and kissin', and we was both havin' a mighty fine time."
"I'm sure you were," Sheriff Harper said. "But I still don't understand what that has to do with--"
"I'm getting to that, Sheriff," Clem told him. "So we kept on kissing and a-cuddlin', and after a while things were starting to get a little intense. Next thing I knew, Betty Lynn was takin' off all her clothes and tellin' me that I should too."
Harper's eyes grew wide. "And?"
"And so I started doing just like you asked me. I'd gotten everything off but my boots when all of a sudden Betty Lynn throws herself down on the hay and looks up at me and says, 'Okay, you big cowboy, let's go to town!"
The sheriff winced and put a hand over part of his face. "Don't tell me..." he said in a disbelieving voice.
Clem just shrugged. "Well, I reckon I'm the first one here. Say, you ain't seen Betty Lynn around anywhere, have you?"
(Copyright 2014 by John Allen Small)
In : A Story A Week
Tags: fiction humor