(NOTE: This is entry number eight in the weekly "Spohn Challenge" project. Steve Sykes, what have you gotten me into?"

Snow White, Tom Thumb and Quasimodo were having lunch together at the Brothers Grimm Commissary one day, swapping stories about their various misadventures and sharing gossip about other famous fairy tale characters they all knew.

At one point, for no apparent reason, Snow White took a sip of her chocolate milk and announced, “You know, I reckon I must be the most beautiful girl in the world.”

To which Tom Thumb replied, “Well, then, I reckon I'm the smallest person in the world.”

And Quasimodo, who hated feeling left out, swallowed a mouthful of meatloaf and stated, “In that case, I must be the most revolting person in the world.”

Anxious to prove their individual claims, the trio left the cafeteria and rode in Snow White’s Aston Martin to the Mother Goose Land Public Library. 

Once there, they found the latest edition of the Guinness Book of World Records and began pouring through the book in search of the information that would prove each one right.

After a few moments, Snow White looked up triumphantly and pointed at the page which contained the entry for Most Beautiful Woman of All Time. “It’s official!” she exclaimed. “I truly AM the fairest of them all.” And sure enough, her name was right there at the top of the list – ahead of such luminary beauties as Marilyn Monroe, Ingrid Bergman, Scarlett Johanssen and that red-head who was always hanging out with Scooby-Doo...

At that point, Tom Thumb grabbed the book and began flipping through the pages in search of the entry for World’s Smallest Person. After a minute or so he declared, “See, I told you I’m the smallest person in the world. Says so right there, on page 123!”

So Quasimodo snatched the book away from him and checked the index for the World’s Most Revolting Person entry. He found the page and read it once, twice, three times before looking up with a crestfallen expression on his face.

He looked at his friends and asked, “So who's this Miley Cyrus dame, anyway...?”