A NIGHT AT THE MOVIES
It was the Friday that Leslie James, the manager of the Majestic Theatre in Eureka Creek, had been waiting for all summer: opening day for the Harry Potter And Percy Jackson Meet The Hobbits Of Alderaan, and if the size of the crowd that had turned out for the first showing was any indication of the turnout still to come it looked as if the movie would have little trouble making good on its promise of being the biggest blockbuster of the year.
Leslie was standing there in the lobby, smiling at the patrons who were lining up at the concession stand and mentally dancing to the tune of the cash registers ringing in his head, when he happened to spy one young man who kept walking back and forth between the ticket counter at the front of the building and the ticket taker at the door of the auditorium.
Leslie watched as the young man would hand his tickets to the teenager at the door, then make a face as he turned and headed back to the counter, bought another ticket and got back in line, only to do it all over again upon reaching the ticket taker the next time.
This happened three or four more times before Leslie decided he should walk over and ask the fellow why. As the patron sagged his shoulders in exasperation and turned back toward the ticket counter one more time, Leslie rushed over from behind and put a hand on the fellow's shoulder. "Excuse me, sir," he said as the customer turned to face him, "is there a problem I might be able to help you with?"
The frustrated moviegoer nodded. "Boy, I'll say there is," he responded. "You might explain to me how I'm supposed to get in to see the movie without a ticket!"
Leslie's brow furrowed in confusion. "But, sir," he responded, "I've seen you buy several of them now. You only need one to get inside."
"I know," the patron said. "But every time I hand one to that knucklehead over there, he takes the blasted thing and tears it in half!"
In : Fiction
Tags: jokes humor
John A. Small is an award-winning newspaper journalist, columnist and broadcaster whose work has been honored by the Oklahoma Press Association, the Society of Professional Journalists, the Associated Press, the National Newspaper Association, and the Oklahoma Education Association. He and his wife Melissa were married in 1986; they have two sons, Joshua Orrin (born 1991) and William Ian (born 1996).
Mr. Small is the News Editor and columnist for the Johnston County Capital-Democrat, a weekly newspaper headquartered in Tishomingo, OK. He obtained his nickname, "Bard of the Lesser Boulevards," from a journalism colleague - the late Phil Byrum - in recognition of the success of his popular newspaper column, "Small Talk." (In addition to the many awards the column itself has received over the years, a radio version of "Small Talk" earned an award for "Best Small Market Commentary" from the Society of Professional Journalists in 1998.)
John was born in Oklahoma City in 1963; lived in the Bradley-Bourbonnais-Kankakee area of Illinois for most of the next 28 years (with brief sojourns in Texas and Athens, Greece, thrown in to break up the monotony); then returned to his native state in 1991, where he currently resides in the Tishomingo/Ravia area. He graduated from Bradley-Bourbonnais Community High School in 1981, and received his bachelor's degree in journalism from Olivet Nazarene University in Bourbonnais in 1991. The years between high school and college were a period frought with numerous exploits and misadventures, some of which have become the stuff of legend; nobody was hurt along the way, however, which should count for something.
In addition to his professional career as a journalist he has published two short story collections: "Days Gone By: Legends And Tales Of Sipokni West" (2007), a collection of western stories; and "Something In The Air" (2011), a more eclectic collection. He was also a contributor to the 2005 Locus Award-nominated science fiction anthology "Myths For The Modern Age: Philip Jose Farmer's Wold Newton Universe," edited by Win Scott Eckert. In additon he has written a stage play and a self-published cookbook; served as project editor for a book about the JFK assassination entitled "The Men On The Sixth Floor"; and has either published or posted on the Internet a number of essays, stories and poems.
He has also won writing awards from the Veterans of Foreign Wars and the National Library of Poetry. He is a past president of the Johnston County Chamber of Commerce in Tishomingo; was a charter member and past president of the Johnston County Reading Council, the local literacy advocacy and "friends of the library" organization; served as Johnston County's first-ever Americans with Disabilities Act coordinator in 1994-95; served two terms as chairman of the Johnston County (OK) Democratic Party; and has taught journalism classes for local Boy Scout Merit Badge Fairs. He is a member of the New Wold Newton Meteorics Society.
