And Now A Word From Our Sponsor…
Announcing a special offer for all you avid “Bard Of The Lesser Boulevards” readers out there – wherever the three of you may be.
You say that you've had it with with all those secret fraternal organizations? You know, the ones that never seem to want you as a member?
Are you feeling left out when you see your friends and neighbors come home from their big national conventions wearing their big funny hats and telling jokes that they won't let you hear?
Do you feel all this is more than just a wee bit unfair?
Then you need to join the Rev. Apocalypse P. Thunderbird Memorial Super Secret Loyal Order of By Invitation Only Club!
And just what is the RAPTSSLOOBIOC, you ask?
Well, rumor has it that the membership of the RAPTSSLOOBIOC is made up of people just like you – but it's very difficult to verify this, because the RAPTSSLOOBIOC is so secret that WE don't even know the names of our estimated 10,000 members worldwide.
In fact, most of our members don't even know that they are members. If they did… well, then it wouldn't be a secret anymore, now would it?
That's how secret it is, friends!
As a member of the RAPTSSLOOBIOC, you will receive a funny party hat and an invitation (printed in invisible ink) to our secret national convention – to be held sometime this summer at a top secret location, which may not have even been chosen yet.
But that’s not all! Because you'll also be entitled all the rights, privileges and benefits that all members of the RAPTSSLOOBIOC have come to expect and appreciate. Whatever those rights, privileges and benefits might happen to be.
The RAPTSSLOOBIOC even has its very own secret handshake, and special password that grants you admission to RAPTSSLOOBIOC functions all across the globe. Unfortunately, our handshake and password are so secret that our founder refused to tell us what they were before he lit out for some secret destination. The only reason he didn’t take our secret slush fund with him when he left is because nobody could remember where we hid it.
Join today and receive your secret membership card, made up of a blank piece of cardboard; and a secret bill for $200 payable to our highly secret Swiss bank account.
The Rev. Apocalypse P. Thunderbird Memorial Super Secret Loyal Order of By Invitation Only Club! Who knows, you may already be a member!
Just don't tell anyone…
In : Unbridled Silliness
Tags: humor
John A. Small is an award-winning newspaper journalist, columnist and broadcaster whose work has been honored by the Oklahoma Press Association, the Society of Professional Journalists, the Associated Press, the National Newspaper Association, and the Oklahoma Education Association. He and his wife Melissa were married in 1986; they have two sons, Joshua Orrin (born 1991) and William Ian (born 1996).
Mr. Small is the News Editor and columnist for the Johnston County Capital-Democrat, a weekly newspaper headquartered in Tishomingo, OK. He obtained his nickname, "Bard of the Lesser Boulevards," from a journalism colleague - the late Phil Byrum - in recognition of the success of his popular newspaper column, "Small Talk." (In addition to the many awards the column itself has received over the years, a radio version of "Small Talk" earned an award for "Best Small Market Commentary" from the Society of Professional Journalists in 1998.)
John was born in Oklahoma City in 1963; lived in the Bradley-Bourbonnais-Kankakee area of Illinois for most of the next 28 years (with brief sojourns in Texas and Athens, Greece, thrown in to break up the monotony); then returned to his native state in 1991, where he currently resides in the Tishomingo/Ravia area. He graduated from Bradley-Bourbonnais Community High School in 1981, and received his bachelor's degree in journalism from Olivet Nazarene University in Bourbonnais in 1991. The years between high school and college were a period frought with numerous exploits and misadventures, some of which have become the stuff of legend; nobody was hurt along the way, however, which should count for something.
In addition to his professional career as a journalist he has published two short story collections: "Days Gone By: Legends And Tales Of Sipokni West" (2007), a collection of western stories; and "Something In The Air" (2011), a more eclectic collection. He was also a contributor to the 2005 Locus Award-nominated science fiction anthology "Myths For The Modern Age: Philip Jose Farmer's Wold Newton Universe," edited by Win Scott Eckert. In additon he has written a stage play and a self-published cookbook; served as project editor for a book about the JFK assassination entitled "The Men On The Sixth Floor"; and has either published or posted on the Internet a number of essays, stories and poems.
He has also won writing awards from the Veterans of Foreign Wars and the National Library of Poetry. He is a past president of the Johnston County Chamber of Commerce in Tishomingo; was a charter member and past president of the Johnston County Reading Council, the local literacy advocacy and "friends of the library" organization; served as Johnston County's first-ever Americans with Disabilities Act coordinator in 1994-95; served two terms as chairman of the Johnston County (OK) Democratic Party; and has taught journalism classes for local Boy Scout Merit Badge Fairs. He is a member of the New Wold Newton Meteorics Society.
