Overdose Of Goofy Juice...?
Either we are about to plunge off the precipice into another long national election cycle, or else some people have thrown caution to the wind and are deliberately exceeding their doctors’ recommended daily amount of Goofy Juice.
Or, quite possibly, both.
How else does one logically explain the increase in the number of just out-and-out bizarre items in the national news that I’ve found myself running across in recent weeks?
One of the most recent came this past Sunday on the CBS News program Face The Nation, when Scott Walker - governor of Wisconsin and just one of the seemingly endless parade of GOP contenders for the 2016 presidential nomination - announced (with a straight face, mind you) that he would be the most qualified person to lead the country's foreign policy because he has visited six countries while serving as governor.
Well, heck, by that reckoning I’m qualified to be mayor of Tishomingo, because I’ve driven on just about every street in town at least once in the not quite 24 years since I moved to Johnston County. Come to think of it, I’m probably qualified to run for president myself; after all, I’ve been to all but maybe seven or eight of the 50 states at some point in my lifetime.
Shoot, if visiting places is all it takes to qualify a person to hold certain positions in life, then there’s a wealth of wonderful opportunities awaiting me if this career in journalism ends up not panning out.
Maybe I can become a chef; I’ve been to McDonald’s, White Castle and Steak ‘N’ Shake a few times. I like going to the movies; maybe I can become an actor. I once changed planes in Rome while flying to Greece back when I was in the Air Force; I might have a shot at becoming Pope...
No, it doesn’t really work that way. I know that. Somebody needs to explain it to Scott Walker.
But my favorite bizarre news item in recent weeks concerns the much publicized (and utterly ridiculous) fear on the part of some people in this country that an upcoming military training exercise is, in fact, part of a clandestine plot by President Obama to declare martial law and remain in power after the 2016 election. That wee bit of paranoia developed so much traction that Texas Governor Greg Abbott reportedly announced that he was deploying the Texas State Guard to “monitor” the exercise, in order to prevent a military takeover of Texas.
Here's the question I keep waiting for someone to answer: Why would the U.S. need to stage a military takeover of Texas when Texas is ALREADY part of the U.S.? Isn’t that a little like Johnston County invading Tishomingo?
I’m telling you, it has to be the Goofy Juice...
In : Opinion
Tags: culture
John A. Small is an award-winning newspaper journalist, columnist and broadcaster whose work has been honored by the Oklahoma Press Association, the Society of Professional Journalists, the Associated Press, the National Newspaper Association, and the Oklahoma Education Association. He and his wife Melissa were married in 1986; they have two sons, Joshua Orrin (born 1991) and William Ian (born 1996).
Mr. Small is the News Editor and columnist for the Johnston County Capital-Democrat, a weekly newspaper headquartered in Tishomingo, OK. He obtained his nickname, "Bard of the Lesser Boulevards," from a journalism colleague - the late Phil Byrum - in recognition of the success of his popular newspaper column, "Small Talk." (In addition to the many awards the column itself has received over the years, a radio version of "Small Talk" earned an award for "Best Small Market Commentary" from the Society of Professional Journalists in 1998.)
John was born in Oklahoma City in 1963; lived in the Bradley-Bourbonnais-Kankakee area of Illinois for most of the next 28 years (with brief sojourns in Texas and Athens, Greece, thrown in to break up the monotony); then returned to his native state in 1991, where he currently resides in the Tishomingo/Ravia area. He graduated from Bradley-Bourbonnais Community High School in 1981, and received his bachelor's degree in journalism from Olivet Nazarene University in Bourbonnais in 1991. The years between high school and college were a period frought with numerous exploits and misadventures, some of which have become the stuff of legend; nobody was hurt along the way, however, which should count for something.
In addition to his professional career as a journalist he has published two short story collections: "Days Gone By: Legends And Tales Of Sipokni West" (2007), a collection of western stories; and "Something In The Air" (2011), a more eclectic collection. He was also a contributor to the 2005 Locus Award-nominated science fiction anthology "Myths For The Modern Age: Philip Jose Farmer's Wold Newton Universe," edited by Win Scott Eckert. In additon he has written a stage play and a self-published cookbook; served as project editor for a book about the JFK assassination entitled "The Men On The Sixth Floor"; and has either published or posted on the Internet a number of essays, stories and poems.
He has also won writing awards from the Veterans of Foreign Wars and the National Library of Poetry. He is a past president of the Johnston County Chamber of Commerce in Tishomingo; was a charter member and past president of the Johnston County Reading Council, the local literacy advocacy and "friends of the library" organization; served as Johnston County's first-ever Americans with Disabilities Act coordinator in 1994-95; served two terms as chairman of the Johnston County (OK) Democratic Party; and has taught journalism classes for local Boy Scout Merit Badge Fairs. He is a member of the New Wold Newton Meteorics Society.
