Either we are about to plunge off the precipice into another long national election cycle, or else some people have thrown caution to the wind and are deliberately exceeding their doctors’ recommended daily amount of Goofy Juice.

Or, quite possibly, both. 

How else does one logically explain the increase in the number of just out-and-out bizarre items in the national news that I’ve found myself running across in recent weeks?

One of the most recent came this past Sunday on the CBS News program Face The Nation, when Scott Walker - governor of Wisconsin and just one of the seemingly endless parade of GOP contenders for the 2016 presidential nomination - announced (with a straight face, mind you)  that he would be the most qualified person to lead the country's foreign policy because he has visited six countries while serving as governor.

Well, heck, by that reckoning I’m qualified to be mayor of Tishomingo, because I’ve driven on just about every street in town at least once in the not quite 24 years since I moved to Johnston County. Come to think of it, I’m probably qualified to run for president myself; after all, I’ve been to all but maybe seven or eight of the 50 states at some point in my lifetime.

Shoot, if visiting places is all it takes to qualify a person to hold certain positions in life, then there’s a wealth of wonderful opportunities awaiting me if this career in journalism ends up not panning out. 

Maybe I can become a chef; I’ve been to McDonald’s, White Castle and Steak ‘N’ Shake a few times. I like going to the movies; maybe I can become an actor. I once changed planes in Rome while flying to Greece back when I was in the Air Force; I might have a shot at becoming Pope...

No, it doesn’t really work that way.  I know that. Somebody needs to explain it to Scott Walker.

But my favorite bizarre news item in recent weeks concerns the much publicized (and utterly ridiculous) fear on the part of some people in this country that an upcoming military training exercise is, in fact, part of a clandestine plot by President Obama to declare martial law and remain in power after the 2016 election. That wee bit of paranoia developed so much traction that Texas Governor Greg Abbott reportedly announced that he was deploying the Texas State Guard to “monitor” the exercise, in order to prevent a military takeover of Texas.

Here's the question I keep waiting for someone to answer: Why would the U.S. need to stage a military takeover of Texas when Texas is ALREADY part of the U.S.? Isn’t that a little like Johnston County invading Tishomingo?

I’m telling you, it has to be the Goofy Juice...